There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
