I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
