How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
