Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
