Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize