Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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