fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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