You work out of a Hotel?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
