ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
