you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
