You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
