You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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