I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize