I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
