Yo dont text me then not text me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize