so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
