Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
