Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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