btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
