She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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