Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
