Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
