that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
