is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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