i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
