Whod you bang
I just saw a hot homeless man
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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