party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
