you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize