i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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