Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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