maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
