I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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