i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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