at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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