Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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