Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
