I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
