you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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