I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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