Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
