i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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