you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Randomize
