Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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