I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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