Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
