so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
