gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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