What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize