Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
