as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
