If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if only i could text you this smell
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
