Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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