how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
