other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
