I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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