M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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