My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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