I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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