how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize