I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
True college students do jello shots in the library
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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